Posts Tagged ‘abduction’

1) Hello again, Al. How are things in the U.S. of A?

It’s like the Last Days Of Atlantis as interpreted by Ed Wood.

2) How fucked up the human race is right now – and why?

It’s far worse than it ever has been, because the central problem is overpopulation. There’s no pretty way out of that problem.

3) What do you think about the recent riots in the UK?

Riots are counterproductive. The riots of the 1960s here in America accomplished nothing but devastation. That’s what riots do. All mobs are comprised of cowards.

4) Would it be tempting to get abducted by benevolent aliens?

I never fuck on the first date.

5) Max Keiser predicted that there will be a false flag terrorist attack within 90 days because Pentagon’s budget is suggested to be cut. What do you think of this?

They need another false flag soon for a LOT of reasons. It’s inevitable, and it’ll probably be nuclear. It has to be bigger than 911.

6) Talking about false flag operations, this year will mark 10th anniversary of 9/11. What you’ll do on 9/11 this year?

Recreate the event on a sandy beach with refrigerator boxes and remote-controlled toy airplanes, preferably on LSD.

I’ll need a flat-screen tv box for WTC7.

7) I remember that you got fired as a journalist for asking too ankward questions about 9/11. How did it all go?

Actually, I quit NY Press over an insult to the Pope. I am semi-retired.

8) What do you think about “Osama bin Laden’s death”? How ridiculous the story was on a scale from 1 to 10?

Bullshit is creative. Al Gore never had a creative idea in his life. He’s incapable of speaking the truth. Anthropogenic climate change is a crock of shit designed to facilitate global control and taxation, and to shift the terms of the discourse from “pollution” to “climate change.”

9) What do you think about global warming? Does Al Gore speak bullshit and is it all about control and big money?

See above.

10) I read an interesting article recently that LBJ was behind assassination of JFK. What is your theory? Who killed Kennedy?

After all, it was you and me.

11) Who’s the worst person in the world right now and why?

Dick Cheney, because he isn’t as charming as David Hasselhoff.

12) Who’s the best person in the world right now and why?

Me, because I haven’t killed anybody yet.

13) If you had a chance to spend a one day with Hunter S. Thompson how would you prefer to spend that day with him? What would you two do?

Gobble some blotter acid, do some rails of meth, and get drunk as hell in Atlantic City, NJ.

14) Your best tip of the day on how to be happy in the world today?

Smoke pot and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon continuously. I am quite serious about this.

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[Alan Cabal is the Emperor of the U.S.A. He has been nominated for Nobel peace prize].

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Dear Benevolent Aliens,

this is my application for asylum and refugee status, which technically speaking is an application for abduction.

I am a member of what is called a “human race”, or homo sapiens. We are a species that are capable of lots of “good”  and “beautiful” things but the evidence can be used to argue that we are even more capable of “bad” and “ugly” things, if not outright “evil” and “sinister” things. The state of our planet Earth has developed into really “bad”, “ugly”, “evil” and “sinister” during the last hundred years or so. The so called “elite” of our planet has cumulatively concentrated more and more power to itself and it has slowly but steadily been transforming the whole planet into what can be called a “prison”. This is where we are now. The planet Earth is de facto a prison planet today, in the year 2010 common era of our general Western calendar. It is for this reason that I write to you this application.

Members of our species who have not yet been successfully manipulated to love their slavery are subtly and systematically persecuted throughout the world. The way the “elite” is doing this is developed to cover all of one’s life, so that there is  virtually no escape from being under the “elite’s” influence and control. The “elite” is more and more strictly manipulating and controlling everything from the air we breath, food we eat to thoughts we think. In our language this all can be summed by calling it “a scientific dictatorship”. In layman’s terms we as a human race are “seriously fucked up”. I am unwilling to live in this prison planet under these current conditions. My fear of persecution is well-founded. The life and freedom of me and my species is seriously threatened.

In addition to my own application for abduction I am at the same time submitting an application for family reunification. Here on our planet these two applications go understandably very often hand in hand, and I think that the same applies in my case here. Due to the circumstances I wish that the family reunification can include 200 of my friends and associates who I consider to be in need of an asylum and a refugee status as well.

Beam me up, please.

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