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Final Conflict-zine julkaisi vuonna 1998 mielenkiintoisen 100-sivuisen A5-julkaisun: Satanism and its allies. The Nationalist Movement Under Attack. Kirjasen nimi kertoo osuvasti mistä sen kansien välissä on kyse, introssa kulmaa vielä tarkennetaan: “The writers wish to be clear where they stand: they are Christian and revolutionary nationalists”. Tästä kulmasta on ymmärrettävää, että samalla kentällä suhaavat enemmän tai vähemmän satanistiset henkilöt ja ryhmät voivat ottaa pattiin.

No, vihkosta ei tarvitse lukea kovin pitkälle, kun tekstin historiallinen paikkansapitävyys, analyyttiset ja tulkinnalliset “ansiot” alkavat paljastua. Sen lisäksi, että “satanismiksi” niputetaan asioita jotka eivät sitä mitenkään järkevästi tarkastellen ole (kuten vaikka uuspakanuus yleisesti), ovat historialliset faktat riemastuttavan usein aivan totaalisen päin helvettiä. Teksti on niin hulppeaa, että sitä on monin paikoin erittäin viihdyttävää lukea. Vertailukohdiksi käyvät melko hyvin uskovaisten tekstit satanismista tai siihen heidän toimesta niputetuista asioista yleisestikin. Argumentaatioltaan tämä näyttää Pat Pullingia, Bob Larsonia, Leo Melleria tai Keijo Ahorintaa paremmalta, mutta siihen ei tietysti paljoa vaadita.

Heikkouksistaan huolimatta opus antaa varsin mielenkiintoisen kurkistuksen alan skeneen vajaan parinkymmenen vuoden takaa. Näin tehdessään se myös listaa vinon pinon eri ryhmiä ja henkilöitä teoksessa esitetystä perspektiivistä, jakaen niistä murskatuomioita toisensa perään. Tarkkaavainen lukija pääsee tekstikokonaisuudesta kyllä jyvälle siitä, millaisesta tavasta jäsentää alan kenttää on kyse.

The National Renaissance Party:ä käsittelevässä kappaleessa mainitaan myös Pekka Siitoin lyhyesti aivan kappaleen lopussa. Muistutuksena on tähän väliin sanottava, että Pekka oli NRP:n kanssa jonkin verran tekemisissä ja sopi mm. 1975 materiaalin vaihdosta heidän kanssaan. NRP lytätään opuksessa useammastakin kulmasta, eräiden niistä ollen ryhmän johtaja James Madolen kiinnostus teosofiaan sekä hänen intoilunsa “Luciferin ylpeydestä”. Tässä valossa Pekan yhteydenpito NRP:n kanssa alkaa viimeistään kuulostaa ymmärrettävältä!

Jutun mehukkain siivu on kuitenkin itse kappaleen lopussa, jossa kerrotaan: “With the death of Madole in 1979, the NRP rapidly came to an end, but does not mean that it is the end of the road for the ‘Occult-fascist axis’. One organisational vehicle has gone, but the poisonous spirit and deformed politics live on, in Bolton’s words, ‘in new forms’ – forms that we will be looking at later, and forms not limited to the wacky world of America. For example, Final Conflict received and e-mail in March 1998 from one Pekka Siitoin, who is the leader of the Finnish Nazis, and who informed us that ‘Satan is the king in the world. Heil Hitler and Ave Satan!’ His PS kindly informed us ‘I was again in Casino and 500 US dollars victory! Thank you very much for Satan’. A crank? Possibly. An isolated case? No. An evil influence. Certainly.”

Mesikämmen kiittää entistä turkulaista skinheadia tämän julkaisun lainasta.

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ufoi

What a great weekend of noise, power electronics and industrial music in London! Meeting old and new friends, witnessing an absolutely fantastic two day event with lots of great acts at a very nice venue. Some notes of the weekend with pics below, sugarcoated with some one liners that I penned to my notebook during the trip.

– – –

Thursday

I had early wake up after just three hours of sleep at 4 am. As I walked through Turku the city looked like a warzone after the 1st of May celebration. Broken bottles, broken places, vomit, shit and carbage everywhere. Some drunks were still alive and crawling the quiet streets. It was cold and snowing.

I met Pekka PT at the airport. Air Baltic took us to Riga where to our surprise we needed to spend some six hours instead of one to our connection flight to London. Coffee, bread, some chocolate, good talks. I did read Juha Jyrkäs’ Ouramoinen (Salakirjat, 2014) from cover to cover, some of the best lines of it out loud.

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Pekka PT reading a zionist rant.

Air Baltic seems to revel in Engrish. ”Exlusively on board” and ”for saftey reasons” made us smile. Some zionist had made hilarious ranting notes over an article about Israel into the airline magazine. We almost stereo-spanked an air hostess who kept on bending over next to us. She was clearly asking for it.

Gatwick express to Victoria. Lovely peaceful half an hour with a very British scenery, including the legendary Battersea powersation. After surviving some metro stations and a short walk we found our hostel and went to check the venue, the Apiary studios. Then it was time for some nourishment and we hit Raizes, a Brazilian restaurant. The place was so damn good it became our regular spot of gluttony for our whole stay.

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Members of Bizarre uproar, Sick seed, Halthan, Pogrom and Unclean met. Pogrom kindly gave us copies of Creation through destruction and The entrancing cage by Maxacan tactics. We walked back to our hostel in rain and hit our beds. There was some truly hellish noise outside but it didn’t disturb us a bit. We slept like dead soldiers of the second world war.

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Friday

I wanted to visit the St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch, church that was very close to our hostel. The place looked charmingly ramshackled from the outside and it was that also from the inside. We found impressive stocks and some pretty swastika-decoration. The place was empty, except for an army of spirits roaming around. I decided we needed to come back there on Sunday.

Swastika pattern at St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch.

Swastika pattern at St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch.

Shacks of St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch.

Shacks of St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch.

Meeting the very nice guys who arranged the event. Artists and other people arriving to the place. Soundchecks. Arrangements run smoothly, spirits high. It was clear that everything was done professionally. The venue was perfect with wonderful staff. The backstage was cozy and decorated with good taste. I think it is the coolest backstage I’ve seen in ages.

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The gig started in time, Am not as an opening act at 8 pm after Dj Andrew CPFA’s selected music. Am not (UK) blasted a great set with a thought provoking background video that dealt among other things with colonianism. Superb.

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Umpio (FIN) was the next to stand on the stage. Pentti whipped and beat the hell out of the metal junk he had collected for the set, with his trademark energy. Nice intense noise.

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Unclean (FIN) opened his power electronics set with some Finnish song, I don’t remember what, but it placed proper mood for the rest of the set. From the voice samples used I recognized Veli Saarikalle, a legendary past Finnish religious preacher, a hilarious raving lunatic. Other samples used dealth with religion, for what I remember. Proud, loud, well executed set with a nice finale of smashing the CD-player against the wall.

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Bizarre uproar (FIN) played in Helsinki just a week before this gig. If I’m correct, the set was the same including the famous masturbation/piss/shit/latex and high heels on a dead rat-video. The duo whipped more intense and electrifying set than that of Helsinki, which in itself was good. There was one confrontation between the bass player and a member of the audience who continually tried to grasp the artists instrument. One firm push from the pig-masked bassist gave a clear message and there was no more interference to his playing. The mastermind behind Bizarre uproar bombarded the audience with intense vocals like stukas in action in 1944. It was clear that the audience was happy with the result.

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I had heard lots of positive notes about Iron fist of the sun that played the next. Those notes were correct. The man, at times with headphones on his head, gave us a very delicate set with nice nyances and brilliant sounds, superbly structured together. This was definitely one of the sets that I enjoyed the most this evening.

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Dj Codex Europe closed the evening musically.

Umpio chilling out at the backstage.

Umpio chilling out at the back stage.

The Finns returned to their hostel, carrying one heavily chemically wounded comrade the whole way. The spirit of the Winter war lives, no comrade was left on the battle field.

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Saturday

The day started with traditional English breakfast in the great company of Bizarre uproar, Sick seed, Shift and Iron fist of the sun.

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SSRI (FIN) opened Saturday at 3 pm. Regardless of the early starting time there were lots of people present, the place was certainly not empty. As Mika of Unclean said, Pekka PT is a ”mad genius” and this is true and it certainly was evident, again. There was Aleister Crowley’s speaking in the spoken samples. At the end of the set it looked like there was some technical trouble in the set, but there was not. The whole final part with the c-tape player, ending in smashing it, was all purposeful.

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A reliable source told Mesikämmen that this was the last gig of SSRI and that the whole project is finished, except for already agreed publications and such.

It must also be noted that Pekka was like Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove during the event – he played in three different acts: Bizarre uproar, SSRI and Sick Seed. I am not surprised if there were people in the audience who did not recognize all of these roles instantly. I certainly did not figure out that Sellers played three roles in the movie when I saw it the first time.

Mollusk King (UK) smashed a traffic sign with sticks and gave his clearly own kind of addition to the evening. I might be wrong and I probably am, but my first impression was that this is a guy with a background in gothic scene who has started to do power electronics.

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Shift (UK) marched to the stage at 4.30 pm. Two guys in commando beanies, military camouflage, project badges in their uniform. This was some tight stuff. It was technically well executed, provocative with middle fingers and a march into the middle of the audience. It was evident that Shift was much appreciated by the crowd, and with a good reason.

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After Shift there was a break. Dj. Andrew CPFA continued the program at 7 pm. Halthan (FIN) started his set a bit after 8 pm.

”Join Halthan jugend now” projected on the wall before the gig begun gave a certain impression to everyone present. What the audience got once the set began was a tsunami of nihilism and misanthrophy. Basse offered the audience a bottle of Finnish Salmiakki-Koskenkorva booze as a sort of communion. Quotes from Pentti Linkola were seen projected on the wall as well as some provocative pictures of Pekka Eric-Auvinen and his manifesto. Basse weared a Pekka Siitoin Kiitos-t-shirt, manifesting a sort of an egregore of many Finns in the genre. Mesikämmen approves.

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There certainly was a sense of danger in this set. I was forewarned to not be in the front row if I wanted to avoid Salmiakki-Koskenkorva being spitted on me or getting into a confrontation. I decided to take a safe position to witness it all. Niko of the Obscurex label was more brave and got duly attacked during the gig by Halthan. I later heard it was not the first time Halthan attacked him live. Damn, Basse, the next time confront a guy who is bigger than you! Anyway, maybe there is a reason why Halthan has been called the G.G. Allin of the genre. I certainly wish the man a smoother life than what Jesus Christ Allin had.

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There was a ”secret act” in the program starting at 8.50 pm. That was Pogrom (LIT). He gave us an awesome gig with an awesome background video that consistend of three parts. All of them were titled ”Solace” of different kinds. Part two was Solace of madness, part three solace of suicide. The first part’s name escapes my memory. I visually liked especially the second part with its abstact description of madness. This was a very nice set from Pogrom on many levels.

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Human larvae (GER) walked on the stage next. The long haired Teuton gave some hard threatment to a piece of aluminium and all in all gave the audience an awesome experience.

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Stab electronics (UK) started with some very strong visuals about open bodies. The power electronics bombarded to the audience matched the imagery perfectly. At that point my camera’s battery died and I went to backstage. What I heard from the rest of Stab electronics from others, it was great.

Sick seed (FIN) closed the event. As it has been clear from Sick seed’s latest gigs the project has traveled into some new areas, quite different from earlier Sick seed material. This was industrial with a twist.

A reliable source told Mesikämmen that there was a meditation and some sort of a ritual done at a quiet backstage before the gig. Instant comments after the gig from Pena of Umpio were ”weird!” and ”white boys funk!”. Maybe he has a point. There were some new tracks in the set and two covers: And the snow fell and Mutiny in heaven.

In addition to the live acts there was a large room with art videos projected on the wall, distro tables from Filth and Violence, Unrest productions and Cold spring. Lots of good stuff that made me wish my budget and luggage was bigger. Unrest productions did sell a limited edition compilation tape Hatred is nothing without action which features all the artist who were on the event’s bill. There might still be some copies of the tape left if you are interested.

During the two day event there was enthusiastic audience at least from the UK, Finland, Lithuania, Germany, Norway, Holland, Bulgaria, Sweden and Italy. The artists were brilliant, the event was professionally arranged by Filth & violence and Unrest productions, the venue was perfect. The place was packed and it can be said that it was a huge success in many ways.

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Sunday

We hadn’t had the traditional British fish and chips with Pekka PT yet, so that was in our ”must to do”-list. Before of that we went to St. Leonard’s, Shoreditch, church that we visited on Friday. The priest noted us in the opening of his sermon. I liked that. The next thing I’m going to say is that the past genius, Wesley Willis, made a great track called They threw me out of church.

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Fish and chips, we got it. And we got lots more. This was a great weekend.

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Overheard during the weekend

These one liners are mostly in Finnish as they were verbally shot during the weekend. Collected by yours truly.

Missään ei oo niin hyvää uusnatsiskeneä kuin Suomessa.

(On a phone) You come and have sex with us. We are in the London. (The other person hangs up) homoloordi…

Mä oon aina halunnut olla sun päällä.

Suurin osa mun vaatteista on Thor Stenoria tai jotain muita natsimerkkejä.

Mä yritin saada vähän rakkautta mut ei… mies käänty.

Nyt panettaa. Ei voi mitään. Joku vois auttaa.

Mä näin Carbagen keikalla ja yritin vetää käteen, mut olin niin kännissä, ettei seissy.

N: Ootteko kuullu Lykke Li:tä? Y: Mimmosta se on, vähän samanlaista kuin Jenni Vartiainen? N: Semmosta eteeristä. Y: Hyi vittu.

Täällä on vanhoja hikisiä miehiä. No bitches.

N: Hailasitteks te? Y: Ei. N: Jos on mahdollisuus hailata eikä hailaa, on ämmä tai homo.

(Siivoojasta) Kiva tehdä duunii kun kuus äijää tuijottaa.

I passed out. Which is nothing new.

Me ollaan Lontoossa. Missäs muualla me oltais? Himassa vetämässä käteen.

Kliinasin prince albertin ihan kunnolla ihan tätä reissuu varten. Ihan turhaan.

N: Jätkä kaivaa munia koko ajan. Y: No kun mulla on tää herpes.

N: Kattokaa, natsi. Y: Eiks täs oo aika monta?

Genitaaliherpes. Sä et voi panna enää ketään.

Genitaaliherpes. Tietsä mul ei oo yhtään sympatiaa sua kohtaan.

Ei tää yhteiskunta pyöri silleen et mä kannan sun kassuja.

Mä en oo saanu pillua moneen kuukauteen.

I’m not like you. You collect veneral diseases.

Haluuksä koskee mun munaa?

I’m a fucking working class hero.

I need bestiality.

Cocaine buffet and black prostitutes.

Mä yritin vetää käteen siinä edessä (Bizarre Uproarin keikan aikana) muttei ottanut eteen kun olin niin kännissä.

Mun aivot lilluu läskissä.

Pekka tuo erektiovarmuuden.

Me ollaan kaikkein saastaisimpia, alhaisimmista alhaisimpia.

Vitun pullee jätkä jolla on himonussijan viikset.

Homostelua. Jos ei kaupan laitteet kelpaa, ei tarvii soittaa.

(Soundchekissä) Tuntui hyvältä. Tuntuks susta kans?

Thaimaassa on paljon paremman näkösiä lady-poikia.

(Jättää lautaselle ruokaa) N: Ajattele kehitysmaan lapsia. Y: Nimen omaan.

Nyt on asiat huonosti kun nekrutkin vittuilee.

Tämmösen vuoteen kun sais mikitettyä.

(Anglikaanikirkossa muita paikalla olijoita kommentoiden) Jumala tarvitsee mustiakin enkeleitä.

N: Tän kebab-paikan hygienia-rating on 5/5. Y: Ite printattu.

 

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This time we have an interview with a real living legend, Mr. Methane, from the United Kingdom!

Mr. Methane is a superhero, a professional flatulist. There has been only one of his kind in the known history before so we are talking about a really rare kind of an artist here. Mr. Methane puts art into fart.

If you are not already familiar with Mr. Methane, here is some info from his website Mr Methane – The King of Farts!:

“Mr Methane Is No. 1 for farts, farting video and fart related comedy!

Mr. Methane is a Performing Flatulist or Petomane, he performs the Art of Controlled Anal Voicing employing the same technique as 19th Century French man Joseph Pujol aka Le Petomane. He has performed his Fart Artistry at the worlds top comedy festivals in Montreal, Melbourne and Edinburgh as well as many public and private shows for exclusive clients.

Mr. Methane has also showcased his Performance Farting on many TV and Radio Shows during his long and illustrious career. Howard Stern called him, “A true Genius. A huge star!”

He further tells us that “basically I possess the rare ability of “singing” from both ends, putting the “art into fart” rock, pop, and classical selections are included in my musical repertoire which, combined with a stunning visual display of… Candle snuffing; talc blowing, and the incredible… Dart farting, guarantees a reaction from any audience.

Apart from the many TV & Radio Shows and there have been a lot over the last 20 years – about a hundred TV shows and many, many more radio shows both here and abroad – I’m usually as a rule booked for private parties, corporate events, festivals, student unions and nightclubs looking to book something unique, different and unusual. The type of people who book me come from across the whole social spectrum, children to royalty, barristers to builders, students, mums and dads. My humour crosses all of society.

I’ve literally “worked my passage” around the World with Live appearances in Europe, North America, Canada, Asia & Australia, including performances at the worlds top comedy festivals in Montreal, Edinburgh & Melbourne.

In Stockholm I am the act that blew open the doors of censorship, launching Swedish TV into a new open era with a rendition of God Save the Queen in front of the Swedish Foreign minister. In Austria I am the “face” of an Austrian anti racism advert and Down Under I hold the record for the most complaints received by an Australian TV station after “singing” Happy Birthday to former World No1 Tennis Player, John Newcombe on Channel 9s Footy Show.”

I guess you got the picture, right? Without further holding, Ladies and Gentleman: Mr. Methane speaks!

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For the starters

Greetings, Mr. Methane! It is an enormous honor to interview you, a living legend! How are you doing?

I’m ok thank you, I’m just recovering from a busy week of farting for Japanese and Spanish Television. Talk about working your passage.

How has your life changed since you decided to become a professional flatulist? Was it a difficult decision to make? Were you worried what your relatives would think of your choise of career? Did you guess how famous you would become?

My life has changed enormously, I don’t have the vast wealth of an A List Movie or Rock Star but my way of life over the last 20 years has absolutely no resemblance to the life I had when I was in an non show business occupation.

It wasn’t a difficult decision to make in the end as my career as a train driver for British Railways was coming to an end, the moral of the work force was low, the relationship between the staff and management was very poor, the Government and Margaret Thatcher in particular didn’t like the rail industry or its workers. It was a dying industry constantly contracting more and more with each subsequent year. All in all it wasn’t a satisfying organisation to be working for, definitely not enriching to the soul, certainly not a creative job, just awful clocking on and off hours and a bad overall feeling of no future due to all of the foregoing.

My mother Died in 1988, after that I wasn’t worried about what anyone else thought. You could say “I threw caution to the wind!”

I had no idea about how well recognised I would become, although I wouldn’t say I’m at a Hollywood movie stars level of fame, I’m quite blown away at the amount of profile my bottom and I have achieved in so many different parts of the world.

What is so funny about farts? Why do we laugh at them?

Its all down to our social etiquette, what your society believes you should and shouldn’t do in company and peoples feelings and reactions when someone does something totally natural that their social rules say they possibly shouldn’t. I remember Kelsey Grammer when speaking in defence of me at the Montreal Festival said, “Its the first thing in life that we laugh at and possibly the only thing that we can always laugh at”. Despite those fine words farting is still a social taboo for many and the ridiculous nature of all this fuss over something natural makes it funny.

Its all down to our social etiquette, what your society believes you should and shouldn’t do in company and peoples feelings and reactions when someone does something totally natural that their social rules say they possibly shouldn’t.

Besides of fart jokes, what kind of comedy, humor, you like? Any special shows, actresses or actors, etc. to name?

I used to like Monty Python a lot as a youngster. I also liked some of the alternative stuff that came in the 1980’s like Kenny Everett and “The Young Ones”. Moving into the 90’s Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse were great and Pete Watermans appearances on “The Hit Man & Her” were always good for a laugh but looking back its Jims Bowens Bullseye, Minder with George Cole, Lovejoy, Bargain Hunt with David Dickinson, The Two Ronnies, Dads Army, George Formby, Fred Dibnah, Bruce Forsythe, Morecambe & Wise and the early Carry On film cast of Sid James, Kenneth William etc. that really stand out and last the test of time. Not all were comedians, some were comedy actors, others like Dibnah were steeplejacks whose way of life was documented on TV.

If I have to choose a No1 though its Morecambe & Wise, a British double act who really only appealed to a British audience and weren’t that famous anywhere else, their ability as musical hall variety entertainers & TV stars is unsurpassed but if their fan base is anything to go by you have to be British to appreciate it. Then again ask me tomorrow and it might be Dads Army.

Is fart humor universal? Are there places on Earth where farting is generally not considered funny?

I once lost a talent contest in Japan to a Korean Uni-cyclist. The Japanese audience saw his craft as bodily discipline and mine as bodily indiscipline. With the Japanese audience being into the discipline side of the coin, I lost the vote as they didn’t conceive the fact that to fart on command was infact in my case a discipline or craft, they just thought I had a dietry disorder and was blowing off all the time. At the end of the show members of the audience were shouting “Booooo!” I thought they must be the ones who voted me off but what I didn’t know at the time was that “Boooo” in Japanese means “Very Strong Wind” so I did in fact have some friends in the audience who saw me as a disciplined Ninja of Flatulence rather than a man who had ate too much cabbage.

Life as a flatulist

You are apparently the only person in the world today who is a professional farter. There has apparently been only one professional farter before you, Mr. Joseph Pujol (1857-1945). Why is it that there has been no more professional farters in the world? Certainly there must be people out there who know the technique involved, right?

There are other people like me and Pujol who have the skill or the powers of Controlled Anal Voicing but not everyone wants to go public or is a showman. Couple that to the fact that it is a niche market where the openings for public performances are not in the same volume as for say, a Tina Turner tribute act, then you are well on your way to getting to the bottom of the show business farting conundrum.

If there are some persons out there who know the technique and have been considering to try a career as a flatulist, what kind of supportive words you’d have for them?

Strain hard to make sure your career doesn’t go down the pan. I’m 46 this year so the World needs some Fresh young farting talent that can come along in a few years and fill my shorts when I eventually hang them up.

Do you train your farting skills regularly, practise new songs, etc? Are there some health related benefits, disadvantages or dangers involved in your profession?

I find it gets harder as I get older and I have to keep Farting Fit with specific yoga stretches and exercises in order to preserve my powers.

I’m a bugger for sticking to what I know works best and not trying new stuff. Last week I farted the Macerena on Spanish TV, it was they who requested it and me who had reservations. Even in rehearsals I was not sure it was fart friendly but then when VT rolled just like Tom Jones I rose to the occasion and delivered a very sincere and authentic interpretation of a Spanish classic. Not that I’m saying Tom Jones sounds like my arse, I use his name as he is a pro, the top of his game, a singer who always rises to the occasion and delivers a top quality performance when the chips are down. – just thought I’d clarify that to avoid any misunderstandings.

You have been on Finnish TV at least twice, in Älä katso in early 2000 and in Jim Salabimin Taikashow in 2010. How your visits here went? Did you enjoy your stay here? Any special memories of Finland?

I remember my first visit in 2000 I was struggling with a hemroid, looking back at the show now on youtube you wouldn’t know it but every time I farted it was like tooth ache in my anus. I love watching this show on youtube but for some reason I think they left out my performance of “It’s Flatulation” in the final edit which is a shame as I was busting my ring on that gig.

On my second visit in 2010 it was very very cold it being February. I enjoyed landing at Helsinki and also Tampere on the snow & ice covered runways, I also enjoyed the very laid back feel of the show and as time was allowed for overruns in filming I ended up with a spare day to go sight seeing in Tampere which is always good as so many times you are just in and out with no time to get a feel for the country you visit.

In general I like Finland, Norway & Sweden. The air is clean and fresh, the towns are clean and tidy, the design and architecture styles are clean and tidy (IKEA), the country’s are not overcrowded and life is on the whole seems more civilised and socially inclusive than the UK. OK I know the tax is a killer but you can’t have it both ways.

In addition to Finland you have been performing in many other countries worldwide. Where you’ve been, what have been the most memorable performances thus far and why? Are there some places where you’d really like to go perform?

I’ve done all the EU countries except maybe Luxembourg. Japan, Australia, America and a few Middle Eastern countries.

I think Sweden stands out. Apparently I changed the face of Swedish TV when I appeared on The Robert Aschberg Show and farted God Save The Queen in front of their foreign minister. Never before had such a thing been seen and never again would Swedish TV be the same ever again.

Australia really goes for the live shows, they love a display of Controlled anal Voicing, its the country where I can really get bums on seats.

The USA is another country where I’ve been well received thanks to USA commercial radio and people like Howard Stern, Drew & Mike, Dom & Mike and Beth & Bill. People would to come to my shows in their hundreds. Unfortunately during the time of George Bush junior as president a new regulator was appointed at the FCC who interpreted the regulations about what you could and couldn’t do on radio more stringently. Stations were suddenly afraid to have a man on their show who could break wind at will, so my USA radio appearances dried up and consequently the bottom fell out of my live show market in the USA.

I once performed at the opening of an art exhibition in Switzerland called “AlpenDuft” = Smells of the Alps. It was an official champagne style reception with the local dignitaries and the mayor presiding over the ceremony. For my part I Performed a selection of traditional Swiss folk songs accompanied by the horn section of the Bern Philharmonic Orchestra as part of the ceremony.

Apparently I changed the face of Swedish TV when I appeared on The Robert Aschberg Show and farted God Save The Queen in front of their foreign minister. Never before had such a thing been seen and never again would Swedish TV be the same ever again.

Is fart humor more popular among men than women? What kind of women are into farts – are they of more intellectual type?

Definitely more popular among men. In terms of women its usually intelligent or aristocratic ladies that like a good guff.

Do you have lots of female fans? Groupies? Does Mr. Methane get laid a lot?

Its not Rock & Roll by any means, you certainly don’t have to nail the hotel door closed at night but I would be very uncomfortable if it was, on the odd occasions I have experienced that sort of thing I’ve felt very uncomfortable, the whole groupie thing really isn’t my scene.

Have you had any ”accidents” during your performances?

Yes once at the Sportsman’s Inn, Hyde, Cheshire many moons ago I went all the way and caught a bear in the net. Last week on Spanish TV during the Macerena was a close call as well but I managed to avert disaster or at least downgrade it to a Shart.

You took part in Britain’s Got Talent in 2009 and performed Blue Danube in the show. That must have make your star even brighter – have you got more gigs and other offers after being in the show?

My appearance was more of a Statement about the show than a genuine audition, I think that’s possibly why Simon Cowell looked so pissed off. Looking back although I knew the panel would look down their noses at me it hasn’t done me any harm, in fact its done me a lot of good and a lot of people actually envy me for having had the opportunity to fart in the direction of Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden & Piers Morgan.

I’m always surprised how seriously some people take the show and its characters, as if it isn’t loosely scripted, slightly fictional, manipulated or presented in a certain way. Its all about making good TV so any good production company or TV station will always try to manipulate or influence events to get the best and most controversial outcomes.

What do you think Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden really thought about your performance? Surely they just pretended to not like your amazing act, right?

I think I’ve just covered this in above paragraph.

As for Piers and Amanda, they laughed uncontrollably and then were unable to comment leaving Simon to deliver his line. I can’t prove it was scripted but I can say I was invited to apply for the show and they knew I was coming.

Talking about Britain’s Got Talent 2009 – I was thinking it would have been awesome if you would have done a duet with Susan Boyle! What would be the song of your choise for a duet with her?

Someone not associated with me was going to mash an edit together and put it on youtube but they got cold feet when Susan was taken ill and went into care after the finals. Suddenly it wouldn’t have been funny at that time as I think she was suffering from mental illness and exhaustion. Had things been a little lighter then maybe Sonny & Chers, I’ve Got You Babe would have been a crowd pleaser.

If you could perform with any artist you’d like to, who she/he/they would be? Any special songs in mind?

Sinéad O’connor is in her own words, “A Massive Fan” – She once bought all her friends a Mr. Methane DVD & CD for Christmas – So I think a duet of “Nothing Compares To You” would be good, maybe re worked and called, “Nothing Compares To Pooh!” Only trouble is Prince or at least the artiste formally known as Prince owns the song and he might have a bit of a problem signing off on the idea.

Sinéad O’connor is in her own words, “A Massive Fan” – She once bought all her friends a Mr. Methane DVD & CD for Christmas.

Have you considered participating in America’s Got Talent? Based on what Howard Stern, a judge in the show has said, you might end up in the finals there! What do you think of this?

They did invite me to try out a few months before BGT made the call but unfortunately I’m not a US citizen so by their own rules it couldn’t happen and it wouldn’t make sense. Tonight on Americas Got Talent here’s a guy all the way from the United Kingdom called Mr. Methane. Mind you on seconds thoughts they do say the UK is the 51st State so maybe there isn’t a problem.

Ah, yes, silly me. Are there some types of events where you would categorically refuse to perform? What if someone would want to hire you to perfom in some political event, wedding ceremony, funeral, or other such ”serious” event? Would you go?

I’ve done all sorts of events over the years but if my bottom is going to be used to endorse a political viewpoint or point criticism at someone on behalf of someone else I’m not up for that. I have my own personal opinions but as Mr. Methane I entertain all and don’t take sides.

See here for an example: “Britain’s Got Talent” – farting around causes national outrage in Romania.

I’ve done all sorts of events over the years but if my bottom is going to be used to endorse a political viewpoint or point criticism at someone on behalf of someone else I’m not up for that.

What have been your peak moments in your career thus far?

Probably the launching of my website and the release of my home movie Mr. Methane Lets Rip and my CD Mr Methane.com have to be the high points for me as I think the website and my merchandise have been my most valuable promotional tools.

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Future

What kind of plans you have for the future? New records, gigs, TV-appearances, or such? New appearances in Finland?

I’d like to get a budget to develop the Mr. Methane animation idea into a full blown series of fully animated adventure cartoons. I’m also planning to release an album of National Anthems very soon on itunes, this will be a digital release as the bottom has fallen out of physical CD sales.

You have made the record for the longest recorded fart in history – 59 seconds! Are you planning to break the record some time soon?

I believe that many people dispute my record and a problem is that many years ago when I wrote to the Guinness Book of Records the Editor blew my request out saying such an endeavor wasn’t suitable for inclusion in his book. Consequently all records are unofficial and open to interpretation and counter claim so unless some proper rules are established its probably not worth having another blow at it just yet.

What would you like to say to all of your fans reading this interview?

I’m not sure really as everyone gets something different out of Mr. Methane and his Colon Coughs but maybe just to say if I’ve helped raise your spirits, restored your faith in humanity, entertained you and helped get you through a difficult day then that’s what Mr. Methane is all about and its been a Gas doing so.

What makes you happy?

Peace, tranquility, nature and the natural environment. I’m not a materialistic person.

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Thank you very much for the interview, Mr. Methane!

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Related:

Mr. Methane website / Facebook / MySpace / Twitter / YouTube / iTunes / Wikipedia.

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