Dear Benevolent Aliens,
this is my application for asylum and refugee status, which technically speaking is an application for abduction.
I am a member of what is called a “human race”, or homo sapiens. We are a species that are capable of lots of “good” and “beautiful” things but the evidence can be used to argue that we are even more capable of “bad” and “ugly” things, if not outright “evil” and “sinister” things. The state of our planet Earth has developed into really “bad”, “ugly”, “evil” and “sinister” during the last hundred years or so. The so called “elite” of our planet has cumulatively concentrated more and more power to itself and it has slowly but steadily been transforming the whole planet into what can be called a “prison”. This is where we are now. The planet Earth is de facto a prison planet today, in the year 2010 common era of our general Western calendar. It is for this reason that I write to you this application.
Members of our species who have not yet been successfully manipulated to love their slavery are subtly and systematically persecuted throughout the world. The way the “elite” is doing this is developed to cover all of one’s life, so that there is virtually no escape from being under the “elite’s” influence and control. The “elite” is more and more strictly manipulating and controlling everything from the air we breath, food we eat to thoughts we think. In our language this all can be summed by calling it “a scientific dictatorship”. In layman’s terms we as a human race are “seriously fucked up”. I am unwilling to live in this prison planet under these current conditions. My fear of persecution is well-founded. The life and freedom of me and my species is seriously threatened.
In addition to my own application for abduction I am at the same time submitting an application for family reunification. Here on our planet these two applications go understandably very often hand in hand, and I think that the same applies in my case here. Due to the circumstances I wish that the family reunification can include 200 of my friends and associates who I consider to be in need of an asylum and a refugee status as well.
Beam me up, please.